Eastah

    Today was Easter. I did all the "normal" easter things, I suppose. I woke up and had tea and candy [m&ms, to be precise] for breakfast. Spent the morning cleaning and making devil'd eggs and bickering and shouting and arguing and more shouting. Then we had about 7 or 8 people come over, which meant there were about 11 or 12 people crowded into our house. When you spread them out evenly between the living room, kitchen, and dining room it tends to work out fine. However, that's never how it happens. Everyone always lingers in the kitchen and crowds around the dining room door, making it impossible to move through the house properly. I and my well meaning partner [usually my grandma, or another older female relative] always TRY to ferry people towards the living room, but somehow we always fail. I mean, what's not to love about finger-food and couches? Maybe it's because we left all the booze in the kitchen...Yea, that's probably it. 

Unfortunately, I was stricken with a horrible headache. Probably because no one in my family knows how to use their [quote, unquote] inside-voices. I love them all to death though. 

I'm gonna try to convince the boy to come over now. He probably won't. But a girl can try..... 

Lady in the Water

   Just finished watching Lady in the Water with my sister. It came out about 3 years ago, and for some reason I'm just now getting around to watching it. It was actually pretty fantastic. I don't care what anyone says, I still love M. Night Shamylan. He may make some crazy wacked-out films, but they're still phenomenal. 

In other news, I was meant to visit one of my best friends today. We've been friends for almost 10 years now, and I get to see her less and less each year. I was going to go visit and stay the night. Unfortunately, I'm in some serious debt [not serious-serious, but serious enough] and I'm dead broke so I figured it would be a wise decision to just stay home and bum it out this weekend. Plus, the house needs to get cleaned for Sunday since we're having relatives over for Easter. 

I kind of like Easter. First of all, it commemorates something really amazing. [Ya know, that whole Jesus coming back from the dead thing. Yea. It's pretty damn cool.] Also, you get free candy. What's not to love? 

What I've always found odd, though, is that I always [always always always] get jelly beans on Easter. I HATE JELLY BEANS! I tell my mother this every year, and every year she still gives me a ton of jelly beans. I don't know why. I think maybe it's just a scheme so that I'll give her my jelly beans. That's probably it. Parents are tricky like that. 

Also, I'm finally getting around to teaching myself Greek. So, yay for that. Wish me luck. I think I'm doing quite well so far, if I do say so myself. 

Alsoalso, the word of the day is: Solipsism [SOL-ip-siz-um] meaning "the belief that only the self is real and knowable." [from Rare Words by Jan and Hallie Leighton]

<3  

Passover

Today is Passover. Funfunfun. I have about an hour before I have to leave for communion at the boy's house. [I'm reading Psalm 103:1-5 during the wine-ing...in case you were curious] Today is the day that Jesus died. It's a difficult thing to fathom. The remission of sins and all that, ya know? 

Anyway, I've decided that since I'm going to be posting every day, I might as well have some sort of consistency in my blogs. Therefor, there is now going to be a "Word of the Day" in all my blogs. Just cause I can. 

The word of the day is: Sciscitation [sis-i-TAY-shun], meaning "questioning or inquiry."  (found in The Endangered English Dictionary by David Grambs) 

So, on that note, if you have any sciscitations for me leave them in the comments and I'll answer them in an upcoming blog. [this means that I would really like everyone who reads this up to this point to ask something. So yea...go for it.] 

G'night. Remember, Jesus loves ya. <3 

oh, and so do I   =]] 

It's the World Wide Web!

This video makes me immensely happy. Watch it. Love it. 

A Moment of Silence

I think I'm afraid of silence. 

I don't know what it is about it, but it makes me oddly uncomfortable. I'm sitting in silence typing this blog and can hardly concentrate. 

I have Separation Anxiety. I inherently don't like being alone. So, maybe, the silence just makes me realize how alone I am when I am alone. ... Does that make any sense? 

I get freaked out kind of easily. I mean, I love horror/thriller films. They don't scare me at all. However, as soon as I'm alone in silence my anxiety goes off the charts. My heart beats, my mind races, and horrible thoughts flood my mind. I don't get it. I don't like it. So...here's a list of things I do like: 

1] When I manage to grow my nails long enough that they don't look stupid when I paint them [now is not one of those times..ugh] 

2] When my friends and I find time to spend time together and really get to talking. [I don't have many really good friends anymore, so this happens rarely] 

3] When a 'famous' youtuber comments on one of my videos, or replies to my comment on one of their's 

4] When I get out of the shower in the winter and can take a warm towel right out of the dryer. 

5] Spending all night snuggling, and talking, and giggling with the love of my life. 

6] Realizing that my faith can be really comforting

7] Accidentally rhyming words while I'm speaking. 

Goodnight moon <3 

FTL

I'm failing miserably at BEDA, and for that I am sorry. I meant to post yesterday. Really. I did. It's just that the day got away from me. [mhm mhm...bullshit bullshit...] I had to fake going to school [and by this of course I mean going to the library and reading Alice in Wonderland for 2 hours] and then go to bible class [it was the last night/session btw] so I didn't get home until AFTER midnight [aka: the next day/today!]. 

So yes. You are correct. I am a loser. 

On a lighter note: I made a friend today! I feel like such a five-year-old saying that, but it's true. My scene partner [in my Acting II class] and I found out that we have a plethora of things in common. She's actually pretty awesome, and may even be interested in coming to fellowship sometime. Plus we both have awesome ADD, so it works out well. We like shiny things. 

I'm gonna go find me some food now. I ate once today. Not a good idea. 

Home Is Where The Hell Is.

Frustration is basically the word of the day. 

Strike that.

Word of the YEAR! 

    I had a mild mental break-down this evening [hence, I am posting this 20 minutes before midnight] and had to have a good snuggle and talk with the boy. Everything was actually pretty find and dandy until about 10PM, when I got home. (I use the word home here, loosely, to describe a place where I live and keep all my shit. [Sorry, I'm an adult and I curse. Go cry to your mama]) I woke up this morning at the ass-crack of dawn, went to Bible class [amazing way to start the day], had free lunch with the boy and his dad, came home, took an epic-ly long nap, went to fellowship [amazing way to end the day], came "home". Unfortunately, my sister also lives here. My sister, for lack of a better way to describe her, is a bit like the devil. [which isn't to say that I don't love her to death, because I do. She's just an enormous bitch] My sister and I are nothing alike, and therein lies the frustration. I'm stuck in this house with her for, at the very least, the next year. [unless, of course, she moves out again, by some stroke of miraculousness] So, coming 'home' is like walking into a lions den...being thrown to the wolves...uhm...Hell. Yea, that's it, Hell.  

To make matters worse, I've been sick for over a month. I'm having an epic battle with my anemia, as well as a sinus infection, as well as allergies/a really bad cold. 

Anyway, that's it for my whining today. [I have about 8 minutes left to post this while it's still 'today', so we'll move onto happier topics] Pardon me while I gush here for a minute, but my boyfriend is an amazing human being. I am retardedly in love with this man. I know it sounds cliche-ish and silly and probably a bit naive, but I can only describe him as my soul mate. We don't share all the same interests, but we've never had a fight. We argue, but usually for fun. I've probably only ever been angry with him once. And, just for a little background, I avoided dating him for a very long time. I was afraid I would let myself get hurt again and that he was just trying to get laid. How incredibly, delightfully wrong I was....

p.s. I just noticed I use an insane amount of parentheticals...

p.p.s. I'm going to try to start utilizing "tags"... it probably won't stick.