Wednesday, 8 April 2009

A Moment of Silence

I think I'm afraid of silence. 

I don't know what it is about it, but it makes me oddly uncomfortable. I'm sitting in silence typing this blog and can hardly concentrate. 
I have Separation Anxiety. I inherently don't like being alone. So, maybe, the silence just makes me realize how alone I am when I am alone. ... Does that make any sense? 
I get freaked out kind of easily. I mean, I love horror/thriller films. They don't scare me at all. However, as soon as I'm alone in silence my anxiety goes off the charts. My heart beats, my mind races, and horrible thoughts flood my mind. I don't get it. I don't like it.'s a list of things I do like: 

1] When I manage to grow my nails long enough that they don't look stupid when I paint them [now is not one of those times..ugh] 
2] When my friends and I find time to spend time together and really get to talking. [I don't have many really good friends anymore, so this happens rarely] 
3] When a 'famous' youtuber comments on one of my videos, or replies to my comment on one of their's 
4] When I get out of the shower in the winter and can take a warm towel right out of the dryer. 
5] Spending all night snuggling, and talking, and giggling with the love of my life. 
6] Realizing that my faith can be really comforting
7] Accidentally rhyming words while I'm speaking. 

Goodnight moon <3