Tuesday, 21 April 2009


I am so fed up with not feeling inspired. I used to write like a madman. The words would just flow out of me, and it was so incredibly organic to just put pen to paper and see what happened. Now, though, it feels like such a struggle for me to create...anything. I always feel like something is blocking me. Like, the worst kind of writers block. I can't see my mind clearly, and I can't feel my feelings well enough to put them into words. I'm an inarticulate mess when I speak, but writing has always been natural. My fingers can type faster than I can speak and fast enough to just flow with my mind, and you can't edit the words you say. Once you say something, it's out there. It's in the mix. But when you write something down, you can cross out and go over and rewrite and reconfigure anything you want. Most creative processes work that way. I've been painting a lot lately, for some unknown reason. The great thing about painting is that you can always add more paint. If I mess up, or I don't like what I've done, I can just go over it. No harm, no foul. 
The words are the building blocks, and the sentences are the structure. You can add words for more support and take away the ones that weaken the structure. And maybe novels are buildings. Certain sentences can weaken its integrity, and others make it stand taller. I want my words to build skyscrapers...

1 comment:

jordancg said...

Not long ago, I was baffled at the tenacity with which I wrote when I was much, much younger. It still boggles my mind how I was able to literally sit down and pound out books--BOOKS--and how now I have to literally schedule my writing time.

(Granted, those books that I wrote when I was really young are mostly garbage, but the sheer volume to the texts is rather impressive.)

I think it really comes down to finding your muse. About two years ago I was working rather diligently writing feature screenplays and while I have ideas and materials now, I can't bring myself to take the time to write because writing for the big screen seems like such a fruitless endeavor right now.

Conversely, I can hammer out any number of Talking Heads scripts because there's a very real visualization of that material. Now, I'm taking my style of screenwriting and applying it to a novel about youtubers ... the ultimate culmination of my muses??