Tuesday 8 July 2008

Good night

Where do I begin? 

It's 1:30 AM, I have to be at work at 6 and I'm awake. And all I can think about is you. 

Why?

You're a dorktastic, nerderific, lanky little sweetheart and yet you seem to have swept me off my feet in this weird sort of way. I avoided letting myself fall for you for the - longest - time. I really tried. I didn't want to let myself fall into a pattern and into a relationship and into love. I mean, we're not in love. Not yet. But we could be. And that could be bad.

There I go again. Constantly finding the most clearly ill-contrived notion of the truth. Love is supposed to be good. Love is supposed to be safe. Love is supposed to be the reason we wake up in the morning smiling. And yet, I keep avoiding it at all costs. Every potential to experience love is thwarted by my constant fear of getting hurt. Falling in love would make me vulnerable and I just can't let that happen.

I think too much, if you hadn't noticed. I think that's part of what you like about me so much. You also probably like the fact that I'm a borderline nymphomaniac, but let's not get into that detail just yet. Honestly, if I had to make a list of the reasons that you like me [you've attempt to have me do this, in fact] I would fail miserably [and I did!]. 

Anyway, I've side-tracked myself from my original point which is this: I like you. A lot. And I'm assuming that part of the reason that I can't sleep is because you're not here. And that worries me a little bit. But it's also a feeling that I've desperately missed. 

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